Lelouch on the Cliff by the Shiny Thing
by DarkRoseOtaku
Summary: Lelouch dies maybe , C.C. steals Kallen and Nunnally wants chocolate. A crack fanfic.
1. Kallen Throws a Stick

This is a random crack i started for no reason. If anyone actually wants to read it I'd be surprised.

I do not own Code Geass

I'd be awesome if I did though...

* * *

Kallen picked up a stick on the ground.

"WTF is this doing?!" she screamed then threw it at Lelouch's head.

Lelouch's face exploded squirting blood everywhere.

"Holy shit!" Suzaku screamed and ran around in circles then bent down and began knawing at Lelouch's arm.

"No! Bad doggy!" Kallen yelled and yanked Suzaku away from Lelouch. "How many times have i told you?! Necrophilia is bad!! Have a cookie." Kallen took out a cookie and waved it at Suzaku's face.

Suzaku whimpered then peed on Kallens' leg.

"Eek!" Kallen screamed then kicked Suzaku in the face.

"RAWWRRR!!!" Nunnally ran into both of them with her wheelchair. "I want CHOCOLAAAATEEEE!!!"

"No!" C.C. yelled and pushed Nunnally over. "Only i can have Kallen!" She grabbed Kallen then threw her over her shoulder then ran away.

"NOOOOO!!! My chocolaaatteeee..." Nunnally yelled until she passed out.

"Finally..." Lelouch said as he stood up and wiped off the ketchup.

"Our plan has succeeded." Suzaku walked up to Lelouch and wrapped his arms around him. "You and I are now alone."

They both jumped off a nearby cliff 30 seconds later...

To be continued???

* * *

Yup, there may be more on the way. I'm scared....


	2. Tall White Shiny Man

Suzaku and Lelouch floated down the cliff.

"I love you." Suzaku whispered in Lelouch's ear.

A bright light flashed in front of Lelouchs' face. When it was gone, a tall white colored knightmare was before them.

"Oh my god!!" Lelouch pointed. "A tall shiny white man!!" He ran up to it and started kicking it. "Kill it for the experience points!!!"

"NO!!!" Suzaku pinned Lelouch to the ground. "Only I can make you level up!!"

"But it wants to rape me!! I can hear its thoughts!! It thinks I'm a delicious young man!!" Lelouch screamed.

A gust of wind threw flies at Suzakus' face making him scream and run around.

Lelouch took his chance and climbed up the knightmare. "DIEEE!!!!"

The hatch opened.

"Holy FUCK!!!"

Lelouch grabbed the seat. "Help Suzaku!! It's touching me!!!!!"

The hatch closed and the machine turned on.

"AHHH!! They're back!! Oh dear god, I can feel my virginity leaving me!!!"

Meanwhile...

Suzaku found an acorn on the ground.

"OH HAIL THE MIGHTY FOREST!! YOUR BABIES ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!" He chanted then threw the acorn at a squirrel.

"Ow!" The squirrel rubbed its head. "That was mean." It glared at Suzaku.

"Well you shouldn't leave your shit in my area!" Suzaku yelled.

Suddenly the ground began to shake.

"Daddy? Is that you?"

"GWARRR!!!" A wild knightmare frame appeared!

**Fight**Squirrel

ItemRun

-Shining Finger-Stare

-Leg Hump-**Chuck Squirrel**

Suzaku grabbed the squirrel and threw it at the wild knightmare frame!

A critical hit!

The wild knightmare frame fainted!

Wild knightmare frame dropped "Rolo"

Suzaku obtained "Rolo"

"Huzzah!" Suzaku jumped onto the unconscious young boy. "I shall now drain it of its fluids!" He began ripping off Rolo's clothes.

"Holy crap!" Suzaku leapt up. "He has AIDS!!!! My hands!! They are dirty!!! AHHH!!!" Suzaku ran all the way back to the white knightmare frame and rubbed his hands onto it!

"Oh holy altar! Please clean my hands of that vile beasts sins!!"

The Lancelot began to glow and moved…

"No!! I have summoned the demon! Lelouch! Where are you?! I demand you lick my body and suck my dick until I am satisfied!!"

The hatch opened and Suzaku climbed to face Lelouch.

"Suzaku! It gave me cookies but I did not want them!!" He cried. "NUNNAALLYYYY!!!"

Nunnally suddenly appeared, floating from the sky. "I got your voice mail! Your tacos are ready!"

"Yessss!!!" Lelouch ate one. "These tacos are excellent to jack off to! Quick! To the Zero Cave!"

"But I left my pickles at home!" Suzaku complained.

"Don't worry Suzaku. You can destroy the world with me without them."


End file.
